Shock and Raw

Collard Green/Kale Chips

Every vegan or raw vegan blog you come across will have a recipe for some variation of Kale Chip. Why? Because they are DELICIOUS and so easy to make! I love Kale.

It may be my favorite green. Look at all the amazing stuff in this (completely underrated) veggie:

Kale is very high in beta carotene, vitamin K, vitamin C, lutein, zeaxanthin, and reasonably rich in calcium. Kale, as with broccoli and other brassicas, contains sulforaphane (particularly when chopped or minced), a chemical with potent anti-cancer properties.^[1] Boiling decreases the level of sulforaphane; however, steaming, does not result in significant loss.^[2] Along with other brassica vegetables, kale is also a source of indole-3-carbinol, a chemical which boosts DNA repair in cells and appears to block the growth of cancer cells.^[3][4] Kale is also a good source of carotenoids.^[5] (Wiki)

I also love Kale because it has such a distinct taste that isn’t as spicy or bitter as, say, an arugula (barf). 

However, I don’t just enjoy a tasty bowlful of (insanely easy to make) Kale Chips. I enjoy as much, if not more, a bowlful of collard greens.

Now, when I say collard greens, most people’s minds go to this:
 

This is Paula Deen’s recipe which is also easy to make: collards, butter, and salted ham hocks. If you go to any restaurant and order collard greens you will, more likely than not, get some variation of the plate above. 

Now look friends, obviously I think that this recipe is disgusting—BUT—if it helps, not just because of it’s use of “salted ham hocks”. Though, you should know, a ham hock is the area located on the pig right above his or her feet. Not the bone, but the skin, ligaments, and tendons (It’s important to know what you’re eating). 

I digress—

Aside from the meat and dairy in it, all the flavor of the collard is lost. When you take a mouthful of this dish, your flavor profile consists of salt and fat. You lose the very delicious smoky flavor of the vegetable. You may as well be eating Iceberg lettuce. 

Collard Green chips are amazing because—especially if you dehydrate them—you get all the wonderful things about eating a potato chip with the intense flavor of the green. 

Mmmmmm….so with no further ado…here is my recipe for:

“Cheezy Collard Greens”

Ingredients: 2 full bags of “torn” collard greens (I used plastic gallon sized bags), 1 cup of soaked raw cashews, 3 chopped green onions, 1 chopped bell pepper (any color), the juice of one lemon (or to taste—mind the seeds!), 1/4 cup of Nutritional Yeast and salt, red pepper flakes and chili powder to taste!

Directions:

1.) Blend together all ingredients except the greens (duh) 2.) Dump half the mixture in one bag and half the mixture in the other bag of greens 3.) Massage the mixture into the greens (In the above picture, I have shown one bag that’s been massaged and one that hasn’t. It should look pretty similar to that. Make sure all of the greens are coated!) 4.) Lay the greens out on a dehydrator sheet (I used my teflon sheets, but it did take much longer to dehydrate so consider just using the rack). 5) Dehydrate* at 110 for 3-4 hours, rotating the leaves after 1 and a half. 

*If you don’t have a dehydrator, bake at 350 for 20 minutes, “stirring” the leaves in between. You are missing out on A TON of nutrients—but the flavor is still pretty bomb.

They should maintain their green color—they even get a little darker in the dehydrator. I should warn you that, while they keep well in the sense that they don’t go badly quickly—they DO lose their chip like crunch. I had to dehydrate them a second time the next morning. I recommend storing them in a paper bag and not Tupperware to avoid moistness.

These chips are so good they may start a revolution. Many of you may have seen the new Lay’s campaign to find a new chip flavor. How about one that actually taste like the potato you’re using to make the chips instead of whatever crap you put on top of them!!

Enjoy, my friends! Remember, as always, I will try to answer any questions you have so let me know if you have any! LOVE!

RAW Indonesian Coconut Curry

Who doesn’t like pad thai? It’s ooey, gooey, sweet and spicy, hot and delicious. All different kinds of it too! You can add chicken, seafood or fried tofu (my favorite) and the servings are huge for what you’re paying—if you’re going to the right place. 

A general breakdown of a standard plate of pad thai?

Ingredients: egg (opt), fish sauce (opt), garlic, ground dried chili pepper, ground pepper, lime, shallots, sugar, tamarind paste, Thai rice noodles, extra firm tofu, vegetable oil, bean sprouts, Chinese chives, peanuts, preserved turnip

Wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t all stir fried together in heavy oil. Don’t believe me?

Calories in a standard serving of pad thai: 750!!! 

OH—and that’s for half the plate. I mean, I love pad thai but not 1500 calories worth of it!

So! I wanted to find a RAW version of pad thai that was as interesting and texturally diverse as the fat laden (but delicious!) counterpart.

ENTER:

Raw Indonesian Coconut Curry
adapted from “Living Cusine” by Renee Loux Underkoffler 
PHASE 1: NOODLES 

Ingredients:
3 zucchinis
4 carrots
2 cloves of garlic
1 oz minced ginger
2 Tbl Oregano
1 Tbl Olive Oil
Directions

Mince the garlic, the ginger and if you have fresh oregano (I didn’t) mince that as well. Spiralize the zucchinis and the carrots and drizzle with olive oil and your minced vegetables. Dehydrate at 110 for 2 hours. SIDE NOTE: I followed directions and dehydrated at 108 for 4 hours and it dried them out too much! Nice one, Underkoffler.

PHASE 2: “MEATS” 


Ingredients: (1 Cup Shitake Mushrooms not shown—oops), 1/2 Sliced Sweet Onion, 3 Cups diced eggplant, 1/4 Cup Orange Juice, 1/4 Cup Lemon and 2 Tbl Olive Oil)

Directions:

Dice and slice your vegetables and mix your wet ingredients together in a separate dish. Pour wet ingredients over dry ingredients and coat. Stick the refrigerator until you’re ready to mix your meal (the longer the better, I left mine in the fridge for 5 hours!)

PHASE THREE: THE VEGGIES



Ingredients: 2 Roma Tomatoes, 1 Red Bell Pepper, Cilantro, Basil, and Oregano (all to taste but I used about 1 cup of each), 3 sweet cucumbers, 1/2 Sweet onion, 1 avocado

Directions:

Slice the peppers, onions, and cucumbers. Dice the herbs and the avocado. Add everything to your dehydrated noodles. OH MAN HOW GOOD DOES THAT AVO LOOK?

FINAL PHASE: THE SAUCE

Ingredients: 1 Tbl Olive Oil, 3 Green Onions, 2 Tbl RAW Tahini, 1/4 Cup of Orange, Lime and Lemon Juice, 1/2 Cup of Light Coconut Milk, 2 Cloves Garlic, 1 oz Minced Ginger, 4 Pitted Dates, 2 Tbl Soy Ginger Sauce and Pink Salt, Chili and Curry Powder to taste.

Directions:


Blend and combine all of your “phases” together in a big bowl. Blend like you would a salad. 

VOILA!!

 

Creamy, Ooey, Gooey, REALLY delicious. 

I’ll still get the real stuff every once and a while—but this recipe WILL be used again!

Let me know if you give it a try. It IS a little labor intensive but it’s a HUGE portion so you can have leftovers for days (guess what I’m eating for lunch!)

Sending you all kinds of good vibes and joy. Off for a run! Enjoy this beautiful day.

XXOO 

Rawsome Crackers from Juice Pulp!!

Check it out: 

While I was on my juice fast this past week I was creating A LOT of juice pulp. I kept having to throw it out (I don’t compost—I live in a tiny apartment and Kyle would literally kill me if he had to smell kitty AND compost). I felt guilty about throwing it out not only because it seemed wasteful but also because I PAID FOR IT! I didn’t just pay for the juice—I paid for the whole damn vegetable: dollars down the drain? I don’t think so.

So I did some research and I found a great idea: Juice Pulp Crackers! Here’s how it turned out:

Soy Vegetable Crackers
Recipe by Hannah Burkhauser

 Ingredients:

2 cups Vegetable Pulp (I used: Roma Tomtoes, Spinach, Garlic, Celery and Bell Pepper but you can experiment with any!)
1/2 Ground Flaxseed
2 Tbl Chia Seeds
1/2 Cup of RAW Sunflower Seeds
1/2 Cup of RAW Almonds
1/2 Cup of RAW Pumpkin Seeds
2 Tbl Ginger Soy Sauce (You can use Tamari or Bragg’s if you are GF)
1 Tbl Orange Champagne Vinegar (HEAVEN!)
2 Tbl VEGAN Peanut Vinaigrette (this is most likely made with roasted peanuts—but close enough)

Directions:

SO EASY! Blend all of the ingredients together and then scoop TBLs of the mixture onto your teflon sheets. Set the dehydrator to 112 and let dry for 10-12 hours (overnight). They should crisp up to cracker consistency and you will be thanking me for days. Check out how crispy they get:

YUM! Then store the rest in Tupperware and enjoy with hummus, fresh guac (which we made last night!) or salsa! 

Oh…you’re welcome.